marriage is fucked up
Everyday I’m like “today imma get my shit together” and by the end of the day I’m like “tomorrow is the day for real”
my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing
Our visitor sure is enthusiastic!
This is all about the llama staring at you meaningfully through the rearview mirror.
The ostrich is just a distraction for the murder that llama will perform
is nobody going to notice the girl crying in the back?
Hand jobs and blow jobs are called jobs because they’re tedious and dicks are gross. Going down on a girl is called eating out because it’s a privilege.
“Rob’s really good with the babies. Every time they started crying, I would literally go, ‘Oh god, where’s its mom?’ I would be worried about the baby and he would literally go into the corner and just shake it to sleep.” -Kristen Stewart
they… they actually put all that fake blood on a REAL baby!?!??!
now wait, wait..it’s sad that i know this but i do. it wasn’t corn syrup and whatever or high grade chemical fake blood. that particular mix was cream cheese and rasberry jelly. so that if the baby put it’s hands in it’s mouth, it wouldn’t hurt itself.
how did such a cool guy make such a bad career choice
probably the only thing i’d reblog that has twilight involved
His face in the last shot.
When you find out a mutual follow has lots of followers
Friends: Are you going to the party later? :)
Me: Yeah sure I’m going to the party
Shit happened to Ferguson is happening in Hong Kong right now!
Students were just protesting peacefully for genuine democracy around Admiralty and Central, yet the police forced used pepper spray, tear gas and violence to disperse the crowd. According to the protesters, the police even raided a first aid booth with pepper spray.